Billy Connolly CBE

Billy drinks several cups of tea every day and enjoys them immensely, although tea is only his second favourite beverage. His first choice would be alcohol, which unfortunately he’s no longer allowed, as he drank his share all at once, not knowing it was supposed to last a lifetime.

Billy would like to invite God round for tea as there are several issues that he feels should be brought to his attention – not least being the poor refereeing at Celtic games – but he guesses he’s busy in the Middle East right now, so alternatively he’d love to spend some time with Nelson Mandela or Keith Richards.

Billy has always felt it beneficial to have a code to live by to assist in avoiding life’s more treacherous pitfalls. His has always been to never trust a man, who, when he’s alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn’t try it on.